Bob Costas’ Reverse Laser Eyes

Aside

I enjoy the Olympics. Not the annoying television coverage or the time-shifting, so much. But I enjoy The Olympics as a thing. But more than anything else, I enjoy spending some quality TV time with captain of gravitas Bob Costas.  Except this year, something has gone horribly wrong with his eyes.

Costas_Pink_EyeSure, they can say it’s an “eye infection” or “pink eye” but I think we all know the truth: he’s been working on perfecting laser eye technology and something has gone horribly wrong.

Also, are we sure Bob Costas doesn’t fall into the sub-category of Eccentric Millionaire? The internet says he’s worth about $45 million. No word on how eccentric he is, but if he gets this whole laser eye situation under control I think he’d qualify.

For any kids out there fooling around with laser eyes: be careful. You have only been given two eyes for your whole lifetime. Either they shoot lasers or they don’t. I sure hope they do.